so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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