that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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