You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I could make wine with my vomit
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
