take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize