why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize