its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
