3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
