well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
No subtext here. People are naked.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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