We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
