Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
