i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
