I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize