Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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