its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
