and you said cock pushups were impossible
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
