You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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