Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize