I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize