Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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