It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
