Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
