i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
