Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
