so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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