I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
