11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
