Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Four minutes until I can fart!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
