My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
