I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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