Someone shit on the floor
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
