how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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