we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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