I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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