p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
