I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
