just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
