I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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