Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
