Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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