you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize