I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
