i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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