All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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