Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
