Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
