She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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