Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is Oprah even human
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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