White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
