Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
