At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
