that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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