Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
