Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
