Sry I called you an 8
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
