after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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