nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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