sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
