she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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