carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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