He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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